That's What She Said
by GraysonStopBeingADick
Summary: Everyone gives Wally a hard time about his abilities interfering with his, ahem, romantic entanglements. Artemis deals with it in her own way. Spitfire. One shot.


If anyone could take a joke, it was Wally.

After all, Wally is a scientist at heart and scientists love reactions so it only makes sense that the jokester would be able to take an equal amount of heat. When he was younger it was just amateur stuff- pranks and goofy quips usually accompanied by some strange limb movements (sometimes it was like they had minds of their own) and a too big for his face smirk. The older he got and the larger the league, the dirtier and more established the jokes became.

Speedsters finish first…at the expense of their partners. Blink and you'll miss it. Wally's the fastest guy in town…even in bed. He's the easiest guy in the world to give a blowjob to because you'll never get lockjaw. For the most part, Wally could give as good as he got. Dick was still regularly raked over the coals about his omnipresent sunglasses. There was a whole month where every device left unattended had a ringtone or notification changed to "Sunglasses at night." Arsenal was the worst though. Between his foul mouth, generally cynical worldview, and his own experience as a teen boy named "Speedy" he had a repertoire to match an entire locker room.

Artemis however, was not the best at the good-natured group ribbing.

True she had vastly improved from her early days with the league where she would sooner shoot someone than laugh at a joke at her expense but inside jokes require a certain familiarity and comfort that she still struggled with. And that's why Wally was so damn proud of her when convinced everyone that he had once vibrated so quickly during consummation that he fell through not only her but also the bed and the floor and landed butt naked in their lower neighbor's living room. It was a complete lie but Artemis had a face of stone and the newer members had trouble with her sarcasm, let alone her intentional fibs. It was all Wally could do to not bust a gut laughing as she detailed how frustrating it was to have to rescues his bare ass after being abruptly pulled back from the brink of orgasm. Thank God M'gann wasn't around or she would've ruined it in a heartbeat. When they left the cave that night (followed by the whispers of younger team members) Wally was fairly certain that only club bats was suspicious about their sexcapades.

All that led to this moment, right now, as Artemis stretched out next to her boyfriend in their large bed.

"Y'know, I'm not even sure their living room is beneath us…" Wally mused into the dark.

"Shut up, you wish you could lie like I do." Was her only verbal response. Artemis lifted up his closest arm so she could cuddle in closer to her comfort level before kissing his shoulder.

"What inspired such a creative tale, if I might ask?" Wally twisted to face her head on with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Are you so bored by our sex life that you share your fantasies with our weirdo friends now?"

Artemis blew a puff of air into his face, causing him to blink frantically and ruining the suave pose he held. "No you dork. They were just making fun of you again. They give you such a hard time for being a flirt…which you are," she glared. "And all the quick ending jokes but they have no real idea about us and most of the new kids are scared of me so I wanted to see what kind of ridiculous crap they would believe. And apparently it's a lot." Artemis traced a finger from his shoulder down to his wrist where his hand rested on her hip.

"Well joke's on them because you know better than anyone how slow I can go when I'm motivated." Wally's hand began to slide lower on her leg and drift inward. "And babe, I'm motivated."

She humored him for the first three rounds before wrestling him to the floor and setting their normal reckless clip in a sprint to completion. After all, no one had ever bothered to ask how she felt about the speedster's pace. As it happens, Artemis was a fast and hard type of woman and had the honor of exhausting the fastest guy in town whenever she felt like it.

Three weeks later Wally vibrated through a wall during a blowjob and Dick bought Artemis an actual golden trophy.


End file.
